Workshop (March 14th) - Harnessing the Positive Power of Emotions to Transform Conflict

If you live or work in the Newark, Delaware area, I'll be offering a free workshop (sponsored by the Delaware Conflict Resolution Network) on how to effectively enlist the emotions we experience during conflict as our allies, transforming conflict in the process. 

This is a hands-on, experiential workshop, geared toward a broad audience, with ample  opportunity to practice and develop effective skills (and have some fun along the way!).  

The workshop will be held on March 14th from 12-2 pm at the Bear Library in Bear, DE.

Please see the flyer for registration information. 

It should be a great experience and I'm looking forward to it!

Most influential books - part 2

Ok, here's the second set of books in my most influential book series. May you find them useful.


Solving Tough Problems: An Open Way of Talking, Listening, and Creating New Realities (Adam Kahane)

“…a complex problem can only be solved peacefully if the people who are part of the problem work together creatively to understand their situation and improve it.” - pg 2

This is a really powerful book! I think the above quote nicely sums up Adam's insights on his 25 year journey from approaching difficult problems as 'a technical expert' to gradually understanding the inherent problem solving ability of the people involved in conflict, once the right conditions are fostered.

This has become one of my 'most recommended' books for folks interested in learning about the real potential of group-oriented approaches to conflict resolution and difficult problem solving.

What I find particularly powerful and transforming are Adam's stories from the field - including his work in South Africa during the transition from apartheid; post-civil war Guatemala; civil war Columbia; Argentina in the midst of societal collapse.

To me, these stories and others demonstrate two things:

• they show what's truly possible when people commit to creating better futures together. 
• they provide an important and potent dose of reality when we think about the conflicts we may be caught up in our organizations, businesses, and communities - if people who've been trying to kill each other for decades can come together, work to resolve and move past their differences, and then can collaboratively create a new future together, is the long running running turf war between marketing and sales REALLY as intractable as we think it is?

Definitely worth a read for anyone!


The Truth About Leadership: The No-fads, Heart-of-the-Matter Facts You Need to Know (Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner)

A short book that very effectively communicates the key lessons and takeaways from Jim and Barry's extensive studies of leadership (30 years worth).

There are other leadership books I love and have found extremely influential and that I could add to the list in place of this one. However, I choose to include "The Truth..." because it nicely captures the underlying  commonalities of various schools of thought on leadership and shares them as 10 no-nonsense, research-supported truths.

I find that "The Truth..." gives me an easy way to evaluate the usefulness of any particular approach to leadership and helps me readily identify what might be new and useful and what's simply a particular leader/leadership thinker's way of looking at leadership.  


Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Brene Brown)

I became an instant fan of Brene' Brown's work after seeing her 2 great TED talks (On Vulnerability; Listening to Shame) last year.

'Daring Greatly' is potentially one of those game changing books and that's why I've included it. Brene's work hits so many nails I've seen in my professional and personal life right on the head. 

Whether it's been helping people progress in therapy, helping organizations improve their programs, teaching, helping people work through conflict, etc., a big key to whether progress or stagnation/resistance occurs, in retrospect, is whether people were willing to be vulnerable. When that answer was 'yes' the door opened to all sorts of positive changes. 

This another book that's greatly beneficial regardless of the profession you are in and I high recommend checking it out!


What's up next:

The Innovator's Way: Essential Practices for Successful Innovation (Peter Denning & Robert Dunham)
Developmental Evaluation (Michael Quinn Patton)
The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness (Stephen Covey)

Most influential books - part 1

Welcome!

Picking a place to begin something when there's no single starting point can feel kind of daunting. So, I've decided to approach my blog like planting a new garden in a barren patch of earth - any place is as good as any other to start!

So, I'll begin by focusing on the books that have had the most influence/impact on my professional thinking. These are the books that I keep within easy reach and reference often.

I think there will be around 15 book when all is said and done, but here are the first 3. May you find them useful... 

Beyond Reason: Using Emotions As You Negotiate (Roger Fisher & Daniel Shapiro)
  
This book builds on Roger Fisher's classic book on interest-based negotiation ("Getting to Yes").  Roger teams up with psychologist Daniel Shapiro to show how emotions can be actively and positively engaged to help manage conflict and build win-win outcomes in any personal or professional activity that involves any sort of negotiation. 

I find the insights, lessons, and techniques applicable to almost all aspects of human relations, not just in negotiation and conflict mediation. This is such an amazingly helpful book, that I'd love to see become required reading in every high school in America!


Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most (Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen)


This is a fantastic, easy to read and apply book about how to have more effective conversations about tough topics. While I picked it up with my conflict resolution work in mind, it quickly became apparent that the concepts and strategies apply to any field of work or professional position and to life in general.

This is an immensely useful book and I highly recommend it! Another book I'd love to see become required reading for every high school student!


Flawless Consulting: A Guide to Getting Your Expertise Used - 3rd Edition (Peter Block)

I had never thought of myself as a consultant until I read this book. Then I realized that almost everything I've done professionally is consulting in some way, shape or form, even though I've always worked in organizations. 

This is an extremely practical and user friendly book and demystifies the process of doing consulting well. I love how it lays out consulting as a genuine, two-way collaborative process and also realistically addresses the respective roles both organizations and consultants need to play in order to create meaningful change following a consultation.

Wish I'd had this book when I was going through my graduate training - I would have had far fewer headaches in my professional career!


Hmmm...reflecting on the 3 books I've included here, an insight just occurred to me - If one decided to read and work with just 3 books from those I'll share over the coming posts, this trio would be the most powerful and generally applicable. They build on and reinforce one another in very powerful ways and create a tremendous set of highly transferable skills.  

Up next: 
Solving Tough Problems (Adam Kahane)
The Truth About Leadership (Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner)
Daring Greatly (Brene Brown)